I quit my full-time job working for my church.
God told me it was time to do so.
God also told me when I began working for the church just under two years ago that serving in this capacity would heal me from the pit of despair I experienced working in politics where I was always caught in the crossfire.
I will just leave it at that…
Yes, I switched from working in politics to working for a religious institution.
Remember, this blog is about My Crazy Life, right?!
Seriously, God has a sense of humor with me that is absolutely nutty!
Is He only this bonkers with me?
He communicates with us in ways to ensure we get the message.
I require humor, a tad bit of irony, and a sprinkle of sarcasm, I suppose…
One year ago today, I shared a photo on my Facebook page that read,
“Dear Whatever Does Not Kill Me,
I’m strong enough now.
I shared this post just two short weeks before I collapsed from an adrenal crisis and mini-stroke and one month before my brother passed away.
And You brought me to the church to HEAL me, Lord? (Insert humor, irony, and sarcasm.)
This past year, I have been diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease, adrenal insufficiency, shingles, fibromyalgia, endometrial flares, and listeriosis.
I also went through a long spell of chronic dizziness, where I would fall into walls and/or trip constantly (this still happens, though with much less frequency).
I lost the ability to read and to mentally process words. (Obviously, this issue has resolved.)
I had constant migraines and severe muscle and nerve pain that made me suicidal.
And, to top it all off, I have lost significant hearing in my left ear.
Seriously? (Insert more irony and a hint of sarcasm.)
All humor aside (just for a moment), yes, I have healed significantly working for the church.
I have grown much closer in my relationship with God through this past year of life-threatening health issues.
I have learned to completely let go and to trust in Him.
I just had to come to the end of all of my mental, physical, and emotional strength in order to do so.
I could not win the battle alone.
I do not like to lose, but God did not want me to lose.
He just wants to do the fighting for me and for me to trust only in Him and His strength.
Now that I have done so, my entire world has changed.
My perspective on life and living have changed.
I am done doing it my way, alone, off the path He is leading me, wandering aimlessly, seeking the wrong goals.
I loved being able to unabashedly share the love of Jesus on a daily basis when I worked for the church.
I loved praying with people.
I met men and women who were ill, hurting, heartbroken, disappointed, angry, afraid, bankrupt, and exhausted.
I shared messages of God’s unconditional love and forgiveness, and, in so doing, I have healed from my own past hurts, heartbreaks, disappointments, upsets, fears, exhaustion, and, yes, illnesses.
Even though my blood work does not yet indicate I am healed, I know that I am healing.
I feel it.
I have faith.
So, what is next?
I am working a few hours a week for a wonderful woman who owns her own spa.
Yes, a spa…where she sells facials, laser face lift packages, laser hair removal treatments, slimming procedures, and the best facial care products I have ever used.
The spa is pretty much a candy store for 40+ year-olds.
I love it!
I meet new people every day, and I treat them the way we all want to be treated: I love, cherish, and appreciate them.
I am patiently awaiting as God unfolds His bigger plan for me, but I also know that I am right where I need to be at this moment, watching and waiting for His next prompting.
When I get anxious about what He might call on me to step into next, I remember that “God does not call on the qualified; He qualifies the called.”
Honoring this, I anticipate each new adventure He has for me to begin, which always provides different scenery, people, circumstances, and, yes, unique challenges.
Whereas, I used to be tentative and question, “Is this REALLY you, God, talking to me?,” now I know His voice without a doubt, and I readily jump when He says, “Jump!” (AND, I even ask, “How high?”)
I now see my lengthy and complicated illness as a blessing instead of what I first believed was a curse: indeed, I see, hear, and sense God all around me, always here, and always protecting me.
There have been numerous events in my life that would be considered tragic: life-defining moments that shook me to my core and brought about significant changes in my personality, my willingness to trust people, and my overall sense of well-being.
Time has helped to heal the wounds once I stopped picking at the scabs to expose the raw flesh.
But, more than that, being with God and resting in His arms, being comforted by Him, and feeling and knowing His eternal love and protection surround me, have been the greatest gift and healing I could have received.
Had I not experienced each and every heartache, disappointment, loss, injustice, and health crisis throughout my life, I would not have come to know the amazing, blissful, all-encompassing love of God.
That’s the beauty that comes from the battle.
That’s where the warrior earns battle scars.
It is not on the couch or lounging by the pool.
It is in the gritty, dirty, take-a-stand moments that we come to know our power within does not come from us…courage and valor and power like that only come from God IN us.
Have you fought a “Take a Stand” battle like that lately?
A “Take a Stand” battle is one that is in no way driven by your ego; indeed, a battle like this is rooted in glorifying God.
Have you been blessed with a major crisis in your life from which a relationship with the Lord has blossomed?
If not, let Him know you are ready and willing.
He will take you on the ride of your life!
I eagerly await my next assignment, Lord!